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"Josh followed Flame through the door... and immediately stopped, frozen in shock. Scatty was standing in the center of the narrow corridor, her two short swords a blur before her. Behind the swords, crowding the corridor, were some of the most terrifying creatures he had ever seen. He'd been expecting monsters; what he had not been expecting were creatures even more terrifying. Creatures that were neither beast nor human, but something caught in between. Humans with the head of cats snarled and slashed at Scatty, their claws striking sparks off her swords. Others with the bodies of men but with the huge peaked skulls of ravens jabbed at her, attempting to gouge and stab her. "
Punctuation/Sentence Length: The author used the ellipses because the dramatic pause was necessary before the character continued on with his action. Without the punctuation in the passage, the meaning and tone of the passage would be less fluid and changed nearly drastically. The author's uses of the semi-colon was good, as it helped to expand the sentences. Because of the extended uses of the details in the passage, the author was pressed to use complex and compound sentences to get his thoughts out. The amount of words in a sentence varied, from having around 6 words to about 18 words.
Devices: The author's use of repetition and parallelism was quite limited in this passage. Fragments of sentences are similar to the way the author has written his sentences in this particular passage, as he uses the comma to make more sentences that are based off the last sentence. There are a lot of dependent clauses within these sentences that suggest that the author is extending and using dependent clauses after the main big independent clause.
Sentence Beginnings: The author has not used many introductory clauses in his passage.
Evaluate: The syntax in this passage makes it not only easier to read, but also beautiful to read. The different ways the author decided to use, made it more interesting because of the different ways its been written.
"Josh followed Flame through the door... and immediately stopped, frozen in shock. Scatty was standing in the center of the narrow corridor, her two short swords a blur before her. Behind the swords, crowding the corridor, were some of the most terrifying creatures he had ever seen. He'd been expecting monsters; what he had not been expecting were creatures even more terrifying. Creatures that were neither beast nor human, but something caught in between. Humans with the head of cats snarled and slashed at Scatty, their claws striking sparks off her swords. Others with the bodies of men but with the huge peaked skulls of ravens jabbed at her, attempting to gouge and stab her. "
Punctuation/Sentence Length: The author used the ellipses because the dramatic pause was necessary before the character continued on with his action. Without the punctuation in the passage, the meaning and tone of the passage would be less fluid and changed nearly drastically. The author's uses of the semi-colon was good, as it helped to expand the sentences. Because of the extended uses of the details in the passage, the author was pressed to use complex and compound sentences to get his thoughts out. The amount of words in a sentence varied, from having around 6 words to about 18 words.
Devices: The author's use of repetition and parallelism was quite limited in this passage. Fragments of sentences are similar to the way the author has written his sentences in this particular passage, as he uses the comma to make more sentences that are based off the last sentence. There are a lot of dependent clauses within these sentences that suggest that the author is extending and using dependent clauses after the main big independent clause.
Sentence Beginnings: The author has not used many introductory clauses in his passage.
Evaluate: The syntax in this passage makes it not only easier to read, but also beautiful to read. The different ways the author decided to use, made it more interesting because of the different ways its been written.